One Day…

So, I came back to Jerusalem from moving into Tel Aviv.  As I was approaching my apartment, the Creepy Guy Who Steals Internet was sitting on the bench, and said, “Hey, some sort of creature just walked by and turned the corner, did you see it?” I responded in the negative, and went to check it out. There was nothing there, so I walked back around, and informed him that there was nothing there.  He looked relieved, got up off of the bench, and started walking back to his apartment.

And I wanted to be like, are you kidding me?  I am five foot two, one hundred and thirty pounds.  You are six foot three, and two hundred and something pounds.  And you need me to make sure there is no bogey monster?

These religious guys…I’m telling you…

I just moved to Tel Aviv.  It’s really just like NYC.  We have “skyscrapers”, people of races and colors, grime, and humidity.  It’s perfect.  Well, my hair doesn’t agree.  It hates it here; but no worries.  I will tame it.  But yea, aside from the fact that I’m swimming in my own sweat, it is awesome.  And I even found flushable litter.  You know what that means: Bella is going to learn how to use the toilet!  She won’t be that happy when I move her on Wednesday…

So now the task of unpacking (my least favorite thing second only to packing) lays ahead.  Oh, and I have to figure out how to use the washer.  It’s all these pictures.  I miss washers that just say: Delicate, Wool, Warm, Whites, Colors.  Why is everything in this country so complicated?

Anyway, if your name is Itai, and you feel like telling me how to use your washing machine,  that would be awesome.

Love always,

Shirah

I was watching Friends earlier today.  There is little I miss about the States, but they were eating big, floppy, NY pizza.  I pine for real pizza.  It’s really not that difficult; I don’t know why the ‘za here sucks.  I yearn…

Last night Joel and I went to a wine tasting at the Jerusalem Museum’s Sculpture Garden.  It.Was.Beautiful.  It was a lovely evening, with a cool breeze that laps at your skin.   There was soft jazz music in the background.  You could see all of Jerusalem from the edge of the garden; it was lit up like a thousand diamonds.  It was the first time I realized that I will really miss Jerusalem.  It has a majestic splendor that is missing from most other cities.  It had a perfect atmosphere.  The wine was splendid.

It was a perfect evening.

I just bought the hottest red fuck-me pumps. They are sexy, and high-heeled. And they were only sixty shekels (aka really cheap). I’m totally in love. Shoes are definitely the best part of being a woman. Oh, that and multiple orgasms. Though, I often wish I could pee standing up. That would save so much time. And I’d never have to get all ish-ed out from hovering over public toilets.

But yea, shoes are a money pit. And I heart it.

Construction is getting to be annoying.  I can’t wait to move.

Everything is making me cry.  Like, stupid little things.  Things that I won’t mention here because they are ridiculous, minute, worthless, even.  Retarded things.

I’m more than slightly embarrassed.  It really needs to end.

My favorite, most expensive, magic sexy jeans split at the seam while I was sculpting.  Great.

It’s going to be one of those days.  I knew by 8:15 this morning that it would be one of those days.  You know how I knew it was going to be one of those days? I crashed last night at my friend’s cousin (with my friend). I woke up this morning and went to brush my teeth.  I washed my face, and did the whole waking up hygiene thing.  I turned around to grab the towel, and BAM!  Banged my right knee into the corner of the tub.  And it wasn’t a rounded corner, mind you.  Oh, no.  This was the sharpest corner ever.  Besides the pain, my knee started bleeding (luckily, not very profusely).  I now have a welt the size of a golf ball.

It was then time to go home.  Once the bus pulled up, I started fishing through my wallet for change.  Change that promptly fell under the bus.  Change here is significant.  You can have three coins, and have thirty shekels, which can buy you a nice dinner, or falafel and drink for two people. It’s not like in the states, where most change is less than a dollar (and hardly anyone ever uses the Sacajawea coins).  So, of course, I dropped a ten shekel piece.  Why couldn’t I have dropped a ten or fifty agurot (pennies) piece?  Because it’s one of those days.  OK.  So I hold up bus-boarding traffic, crawl on the floor and somehow manage to retrieve my money.  I climb into the bus and get ready to over my money when…all of my change fell out of my wallet.  The driver throws me a look, mutters some snide, obnoxious comment to which I couldn’t muster enough energy and respond, collects enough change off of the floor and throws a ticket in my general direction as I, again, pick up shekels off the ground.  And then slink to a seat, any seat, so that I can duck out of harm’s way.  Barely nine AM.

On a completely tangential and semi-related note, I managed to get on a train yesterday in the complete opposite direction.  I needed to go one stop north, and ended up going four stops south. To be stranded for a half hour in B’nei Brack.  Retard.