Midnight Witticisms

The last phase of cat-toilet training has begun.  This involves putting an aluminum tin with litter into the toilet, so that becomes the litter pan.  After a week, you cut a hole into the tin, which is supposed to discourage the feline pooper from putting his/her paws into the tin.  Each week the hole gets bigger, thus decreasing the amount of space for paws, as the cat allegedly gets the picture, placing the paws on the seat of the toilet.  We’ll see what happens.

I showed the cats the new pan.  Tiger seemed uninterested; Bella seemed a bit apprehensive.  She didn’t know what to make of it, and slowly inched closer, tail twitching.  Then she cowered away.  Then inched closer, lightly batting at the toilet.

She’s going to pee on my pillow, I just know it.

After two weeks of being sick and, honestly, unmotivated, I’m getting back on track.

Last week was Purim, except for in Jerusalem where today was Shushan Purim. Thursday night was a big party night, so Joel and I went to a party at the Magshimim Center in the German Colony (an exquisitely beautiful area of Jerusalem). It was a joint party with Open House, which meant many cute boys with Prada messenger bags. Dressed as fairies. And for a party that was mostly men, it was odd that more people checked out my boyfriend than me.

On a completely unrelated note, it was over 90 degrees today. Luckily, I started amassing (aka buying) tank-tops, and I’m even starting a summer dress collection. I’m trying to change my “look” and go for a more mature, well-dressed type than the shlub I have the tendency to be. I’m also thinking of cutting my hair short, like super short. Because it’s already summer and it’s only March; I can’t imagine what summer will be like. This way it can be down and I won’t feel like a big , sweaty, shaggy dog. I would really love input on the haircut thing, actually, before I go chopping all my hair off.

Also, we’re toilet training our cats.  We decided this is a good idea because

1. Litter is expensive and the toilet is free
2. A much cleaner floor (the cats always manage to get the sandy stuff all over the place)
3. Flushing is way easier and less time consuming than cleaning the litter pan
4. Animal poo will not smell nice in the mid-August heat; our apartment is sans a/c unit.

I’ll keep you posted on how many times they land in the toilet. And people love to hang out at our window and sing to our cats while they’re catching some breeze. Guess that’s what you get for living on the ground floor…

I never actually wrote about the Jerusalem snow experience.  Essentially, we received a grand total of three and a half inches over two days.  The city was absolutely shut down - there were no busses, the market was closed, and I couldn’t take my in-heat cat to the clinic.  By the the second evening, a good portion of the snow had melted.  As Joel and I made our way to the gym (still open in the blizzard!!), we saw countless Israeli youths in a snowball fight.  As a New Yorker, and expecially having done a stint in Buffalo, the aforementioned snowball fight was pitiful.  There were few “mounds” of snow, the majority of it having disappeared already.  Rule #1 about snowball fights - you need to be able to duck and slide in abundant snow.  Otherwise it is worthless.  Oh, and for the record, I came to Israel in order to avoid the snow, not have 3.5 inches of it wreak havoc in my life for two days.

I went to Mike’s Place (a local American-esque bar) to watch the Super Bowl last night (wooo New York!).  It was thoroughly enjoyable.  Minus the fact that we were sitting in a room full of stereotypical American Jews.  My favorite were our barmates - religious bachurs from Far Rockaway.  Who got drunk.  Who at every commercial would say “What is ths?  Are you serious??”  No, this isn’t serious.  Obviously a dog can’t train a horse - it’s a commercial. Oh, and also, stop yelling at Pats fans to “get the hell out of the bar”.  Actually, stop yelling; you sound slightly nasal and I can’t stand the way you tawk (yes, I am aware that this is slightly hypocritical).  Then they leaned over and started asking about what I was drinking (Is it good?  Do you recommend?  What does it taste like?  Oh, sure I’ll taste).  And I’m pretty sure one of them made a sex joke.  It was interesting.

Moving on.  I’m currently sitting in a cafe, working (clearly not) and listening to Boston radio, as all of New England mourns the passing of the Perfect Season.  I’m waiting to hear about Bella, who is getting a kitty-making-equipment-ectomy (spayed).  Hopefully she’ll be OK.  I’ll keep everyone posted.  Pray for her so that she doesn’t die.  Hopefully I’ll hear something soon, because I’m getting a little antsy in my pantsy.

Well, back to work for me!

Started making phone calls to prep class companies because my entire acceptance into school is based solely on my Psychometric (an SAT-like test) exam scores. And I’ve already stated how virtually impossible it is to get into medical school here. Classes start about three months before the exam date and are twice a week for 5.5 hours, totaling 11 hours a week. Two or three weeks prior to the exam (depending on the course), they start what’s called “marathon classes”, meaning daily meetings to make sure you know your shit. I haven’t studied for anything in years; I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle private study, a full-time job, the gym, 11 hours of prep class, and a four hour art class. And also not loose my sanity.

Anyway, so the second company I speak with loves to toot its own horn. She (the representative I spoke with) explains to me that they are the absolute best, they have the most classes, the most experienced teachers, they give the most exam material for you to work with, and so what if the closest class is in Tel Aviv, it’s only an hour by bus (neglecting to mention, of course, that there’s also the bus ride from the center of town to wherever the class is located). She then proceeds to ask me if I’ve looked into any other courses. So I mention to her the only other company I’d spoken to until then, and she says, “Well, Shirah, the thing about that company is that they make excessive use of the computer, and the exam is in paper and pencil. You need scrap paper, writing utensils, you see what I mean?” Clearly, it would require too much of me to somehow use both. And from my understanding of “that other class” is that all of the work done online is in addition to 11 hours of class, private study, and various books. Basically, I found the second woman off-puttingly pushy, which I don’t really like. Oh, and PS - the course is 7,600 shekels, so take that, add the bus rides to and from Tel Aviv, plus the extra time I’ll have to take off from work for the commute (which could easily be 4 hours round trip), and I’m broker than broke. So I’m pretty sure I’ve decided at least which course I’m not going to take.

On a completely tangential note, my baby Bella is in heat, and is constantly crying. She especially relishes doing so late at night and early in the morning, when I would love to be asleep. She’s getting fixed on Thursday, though, so that should put an end to her yowls of need.

Oh, and also, they’re expecting it to snow here tomorrow. A) This is not what I moved to Israel for. And B) It’s probably going to be about one and a half inches that will hardly stick. But my art class will still be canceled tomorrow. Go figure.