Midnight Witticisms

I am officially moved in. Matt ordered some extra furniture (which arrived today), we got our internet set up (a process that for whatever reason took a million hours), and I bought new pillows! I love new pillows.

It’s a thousand degrees with two hundred percent humidity here. One of those cities where the second you exit the shower you feel as if you need another one.

I treated myself to a wax.  It was amazing.  I plan on making this a monthly thing.

It’s wonderful to be so close to a beach.  There’s a sheirut (a mini-bus) that stops right in front of my flat, takes you down the center of Tel Aviv, and straight to the beach.  Even on Shabbat, when the buses here don’t run.

I managed to get the weirdest tan (aka burn)

So, I came back to Jerusalem from moving into Tel Aviv.  As I was approaching my apartment, the Creepy Guy Who Steals Internet was sitting on the bench, and said, “Hey, some sort of creature just walked by and turned the corner, did you see it?” I responded in the negative, and went to check it out. There was nothing there, so I walked back around, and informed him that there was nothing there.  He looked relieved, got up off of the bench, and started walking back to his apartment.

And I wanted to be like, are you kidding me?  I am five foot two, one hundred and thirty pounds.  You are six foot three, and two hundred and something pounds.  And you need me to make sure there is no bogey monster?

These religious guys…I’m telling you…

I just moved to Tel Aviv.  It’s really just like NYC.  We have “skyscrapers”, people of races and colors, grime, and humidity.  It’s perfect.  Well, my hair doesn’t agree.  It hates it here; but no worries.  I will tame it.  But yea, aside from the fact that I’m swimming in my own sweat, it is awesome.  And I even found flushable litter.  You know what that means: Bella is going to learn how to use the toilet!  She won’t be that happy when I move her on Wednesday…

So now the task of unpacking (my least favorite thing second only to packing) lays ahead.  Oh, and I have to figure out how to use the washer.  It’s all these pictures.  I miss washers that just say: Delicate, Wool, Warm, Whites, Colors.  Why is everything in this country so complicated?

Anyway, if your name is Itai, and you feel like telling me how to use your washing machine,  that would be awesome.

Love always,

Shirah

I was watching Friends earlier today.  There is little I miss about the States, but they were eating big, floppy, NY pizza.  I pine for real pizza.  It’s really not that difficult; I don’t know why the ‘za here sucks.  I yearn…

Last night Joel and I went to a wine tasting at the Jerusalem Museum’s Sculpture Garden.  It.Was.Beautiful.  It was a lovely evening, with a cool breeze that laps at your skin.   There was soft jazz music in the background.  You could see all of Jerusalem from the edge of the garden; it was lit up like a thousand diamonds.  It was the first time I realized that I will really miss Jerusalem.  It has a majestic splendor that is missing from most other cities.  It had a perfect atmosphere.  The wine was splendid.

It was a perfect evening.

I just bought the hottest red fuck-me pumps. They are sexy, and high-heeled. And they were only sixty shekels (aka really cheap). I’m totally in love. Shoes are definitely the best part of being a woman. Oh, that and multiple orgasms. Though, I often wish I could pee standing up. That would save so much time. And I’d never have to get all ish-ed out from hovering over public toilets.

But yea, shoes are a money pit. And I heart it.

Construction is getting to be annoying.  I can’t wait to move.

Everything is making me cry.  Like, stupid little things.  Things that I won’t mention here because they are ridiculous, minute, worthless, even.  Retarded things.

I’m more than slightly embarrassed.  It really needs to end.

My favorite, most expensive, magic sexy jeans split at the seam while I was sculpting.  Great.